1. Why not have your say? To take part in forum conversations Sign In or Join. It’s fast, free and easy!
  2. Golden Rule: Be nice, respectful and avoid self-promotion.
    We pride ourselves on being the friendliest forums around. Check out our full guidelines and tips for new players.

    Login problems? Please update your forum URL bookmarks or saved credentials from HTTP to HTTPS (we have upgraded security)

Technology jokes, puns and limericks - share yours! :)

Discussion in 'Tech talk' started by bradzo, Oct 31, 2013.

  1. bradzo

    bradzo Active Member

    Messages:
    332
    Likes Received:
    67
    Trophy Points:
    28
    Ok, I'll start:

    A programmer started to cuss
    Cos getting to sleep was a fuss
    As he lay in his bed, going round in his head
    was while (!asleep) sheep++


    :)
    1 person likes this.
  2. Greg_M

    Greg_M Renowned Member

    Messages:
    1,651
    Likes Received:
    1,140
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Not original ...

    C://dos
    C://dos.run
    run.dos.run

    or ...

    Perl, the only language that looks the same before and after RSA encryption.

    foo bar ... where programmers drink.

    I will now probably waste the better part of the day trying to do something original.
    3 people like this.
  3. PerfectNotes-Kathy

    PerfectNotes-Kathy Active Member

    Messages:
    500
    Likes Received:
    95
    Trophy Points:
    28
    Noooooo!!!!

    It's going to take me days to get rid of this!!!
    2 people like this.
  4. Greg_M

    Greg_M Renowned Member

    Messages:
    1,651
    Likes Received:
    1,140
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Me too.

    Had stupid methods going around in my head for a large chunk of the day trying to come up with an original one that comes close to the OP.

    Shows I've got too much time on my hands.
    1 person likes this.
  5. bradzo

    bradzo Active Member

    Messages:
    332
    Likes Received:
    67
    Trophy Points:
    28
    I must confess, mine wasn't original either... But they don't have to be limericks. Anything tech related that's a bit of a laugh is also good - just thought it might be good to collect a few things in the one place.

    So, here's another - not original, but reworded just for Flying Solo :)

    An oldie but a goodie. (Goodies, goody goody yum yum!)

    Relax, grab a coffee and enjoy.



    Support: Hello and welcome to Lled Computers. How can I help?

    Customer: Um, I seem to have broken my coffee cup holder.

    Support: In your car?

    Customer: No, on my computer.

    Support: On your computer?

    Customer: Yes, you know, you press a button and that little tray slides out. Well, it doesn't slide out anymore, so I don't have anywhere to put my coffee cup.

    Support: No, you're supposed to put a cdrom in it.

    Customer: A cdrom? No, I only ever put Nescafe in my cup.

    Support: No, I meant in the tray.

    Customer: Put Nescafe in the tray? That's what I'm trying to tell you. The tray doesn't work anymore. And anyway, even if It did, it'd just fall through the hole in the middle!

    Support: (sigh) <click>

    Customer: Hello? Hello?




    :)
    2 people like this.
  6. Greg_M

    Greg_M Renowned Member

    Messages:
    1,651
    Likes Received:
    1,140
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Plagiarism I can manage.

    A programmer’s wife tells him: “Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen.”

    The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread.
    1 person likes this.
  7. Divert To Mobile

    Divert To Mobile Renowned Member

    Messages:
    2,704
    Likes Received:
    1,229
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Linux admins use aptitude :)

    I just made that one up, but it could easily have been said before.

    Steve
    1 person likes this.
  8. Greg_M

    Greg_M Renowned Member

    Messages:
    1,651
    Likes Received:
    1,140
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Bonus points for originality.
  9. bradzo

    bradzo Active Member

    Messages:
    332
    Likes Received:
    67
    Trophy Points:
    28
    I think Steve is winning so far.
    :)
  10. Greg_M

    Greg_M Renowned Member

    Messages:
    1,651
    Likes Received:
    1,140
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Steve definitely has the lead.

    Considering it's wet, windy and cold in the Otway's (yet again). I'll continue with another, instead of getting out in the garden.

    Still not original though ...

    There are 10 types of people in this world.

    Those that know binary, and those that don’t.
    2 people like this.
  11. bradzo

    bradzo Active Member

    Messages:
    332
    Likes Received:
    67
    Trophy Points:
    28
    HAHA!
    Love it.
  12. bradzo

    bradzo Active Member

    Messages:
    332
    Likes Received:
    67
    Trophy Points:
    28
    The answer, to life, the universe, and everything, is..................


    101010

    :)

    PS Obviously, I have nothing better to do at this time. :)
    Last edited: Nov 3, 2013
    1 person likes this.
  13. Greg_M

    Greg_M Renowned Member

    Messages:
    1,651
    Likes Received:
    1,140
    Trophy Points:
    143
    I've decided it's ok to waste time on a Sunday. Plus I found another stash.

    ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!

    One more and I'm done for now.


    A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"

    The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."

    "You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.

    "I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"

    "Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone."

    The man below replies, "You must work in management."

    "I do," replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?"*

    "Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."
    Last edited: Nov 3, 2013
    2 people like this.
  14. PerfectNotes-Kathy

    PerfectNotes-Kathy Active Member

    Messages:
    500
    Likes Received:
    95
    Trophy Points:
    28
    Paraphrased, as I can't remember the exact wording...

    Customer: My computer's crashed and won't turn on again.

    Support: Have you checked that it's plugged in at the power point?

    Customer: I can't see to check that.

    Support: Sorry - so is the power point inaccessible?

    Customer: No, it's accessible. I just can't see whether the plug is in, as all the lights have gone out.

    Support: So, there's been a total power failure?

    Customer: Yes - but my computer's crashed and won't start again...

    Support: We call that an ID10T error - wait until the power comes back on - then it will work.

    Customer: Thanks - how long will that be?

    Support: (Click)
    1 person likes this.
  15. Divert To Mobile

    Divert To Mobile Renowned Member

    Messages:
    2,704
    Likes Received:
    1,229
    Trophy Points:
    143
    I did not come up with this, wish I had though I love it :)

    If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
    And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
    And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
    Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!

    If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
    And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
    And your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash,
    Then your situation's hopeless, and your system's gonna crash!

    Steve
    3 people like this.
  16. EllenK

    EllenK Member

    Messages:
    13
    Likes Received:
    3
    Trophy Points:
    3

    Oh no ... I haven't seen one of these for years!!
  17. Greg_M

    Greg_M Renowned Member

    Messages:
    1,651
    Likes Received:
    1,140
    Trophy Points:
    143
    A SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, "Can I join you?"
    3 people like this.
  18. Trastas

    Trastas Member

    Messages:
    12
    Likes Received:
    4
    Trophy Points:
    3
    I saw the makings of an SEO joke on Reddit not long ago that made me laugh:

    How many SEO engineers does it take to change a lightbulb, light bulb, globe, lamp?


    Full comments were pretty funny too: http://i.imgur.com/lIc8NqC.jpg
    1 person likes this.

Share This Page