what headline catch's your attention the most?

[sam hunt]

hi there
im sending out a mail campaign and i want to put a sticker on the back of my envelope before they open the letter, i wont go into details of the product but purely out of interest, i would like to know which line you guys like best and would get you thinking before you opened the letter

thanks in advance

when was the last time someone talked about your restaurant?
Why does your restaurant have steam coming out the front door?
Why is your restaurant full of steam?
Why does your restaurant look like a sauna?
Why is everyone getting out of their seats?
Why is everyone eating the same thing in your restaurant?
Why are all your restaurant windows fogged up?

[King]

the first

I think the ones that talk of sauna and steam, well people will be thinking WTF!!

How will it tie in with the logo/return address on the front of the envelope? (assuming you take advantage of that important marketing opportunity)

[FletcherTax]

I'm definitely no expert in language but may I suggest the first one as well, but instead of the word 'talking' to be 'bragging' or something similar?

Be proud of your product and get them interested. 'Talking' in my opinion is a bit too vague for the context you have in mind.

[Hugh Thyer]

The first one is the best. It will probably hit an emotional hotspot in your prospect. After all they all want people talking about them.

But I suggest you leave it blank. Once you do this, you let your prospect know it's an ad of some sort, and they get their guard up.

You should send a hand addressed, plain envelope that does not identify it as an ad. People are most curious about something that's personally addressed, and it'll probably be the first envelope they open.

I wont go into it here, but I wrote a couple of articles a while back on it.

http://salescomefirst.com/getting-your-mail-opened/

http://salescomefirst.com/how-to-get...pened-part-ii/

I hope they help you.

Hugh

[JayTurn]

I agree with Hugh Thyer about being more personal with the mail.

Particularly when selling to businesses (in this case I am presuming restaurants), you need to take a direct approach. After all, most business owners understand at least a little about marketing and know when someone is selling to them.

I just read the blog posts you made Hugh and they are great. You really nail a good strategy... loved the "Gatekeeper". Reminded me of Ghostbusters, "There is no Dana, only Zool".