Don’t get me wrong, I’m not about to go all employed on you, it’s just that for a time after we met, the following went through my mind:
“Why can’t I have a boss to tell me when I’m doing a great job?”
“Why can’t someone else tell me what to do, instead of me having to figure it out all the time?”
"Why can’t I get paid good money, even when I’m having a slack day?”
“Why can’t I have the structure, security and predictability of a proper job?”
Occasionally feeling this way is understandable, I reckon. After all, it’s hard work being the organ grinder and the monkey. It’s not easy motivating yourself, day after day and being so darn responsible for every one of your actions.
While it’s true my faith was shaken, I’m guessing (hoping!) I’m not alone at these lapses into laziness. There are some days when I just want to take a step back from the front line… these are the days I find myself nostalgic for the apparently low hanging fruit of a normal 'proper' job.
I’m genuinely happy for my friends, and am hoping their roles will give them the elusive double of stimulation and security. But I know deep down that the likelihood is that once the novelty has gone, the excitement will fade and a sense of drudgery will creep in.
So even though I may occasionally wonder whether the grass is greener having a proper job, I know that ultimately, soloism is the only course for me. In fact I’m with the numerous people in this community who’ve claimed in comments and forum posts that they’re essentially unemployable.
Do you sometimes struggle to stay the course? How do you get back on track when you get the wobbles? Let us know.
“ Even though I may occasionally wonder whether the grass is greener having a proper job, I know that ultimately, soloism is the only course for me. ”
Sam Leader is a director of Flying Solo and its editor. She is the co-author of Flying Solo - How to go it alone in business.
