Using the Myer-Briggs Personality Type Indicator to understand working relationships

We have good working relationships with some people and not with others. Why is that? The Myers- Briggs Personality Type Indicator is a method whereby we can describe our personality preferences and understand our differences.

If we have a conflict, we often write it off as a personality clash and we are partly right.

For example, I received a call from a soloist who, after reading my articles on this site, asked if I could code a newsletter in HTML for him.

After asking him a number of questions, I established that:

he didn’t have a web developer;
he didn’t have a newsletter template and needed one developed;
he didn’t have any email software;
he did not have a significant budget;
he needed the work completed by the end of the week.

While I can write HTML, it is not something I publicise, but because I felt I could help him out I agreed to do the work.

As the week progressed, the frustrations – on both sides – increased. From my perspective, I felt that a) even though I outlined and explained what I would do, he did not really comprehend it; b) he had not prepared adequately for the work; c) he thought I was a graphic designer; d) I put more time into the job than I was being rewarded for, and that my efforts weren’t appreciated.

So what happened? Why was having a working relationship with this person such a frustrating experience?

One explanation is personality.

When we interact and work with others, and form and maintain our relationships, we organise our lives, work and behaviour around eight elements, which in combination form our personality preference, known as the Myers-Briggs Personality Type Indicator:

How energy is received and used	Introverts (I)	Prefer their own space, and are most comfortable when alone, or with a close friend. They don’t tend to show much of themselves to others, and withdraw in situations of stress. They can be hard to get to know.
How energy is received and used	Extraverts (E)	Prefer the company of others. They are generally quite open, and don’t tend to withhold information about themselves. They can generally transition between different situations easily and quickly.
How information is gathered and taken in	Sensing (S)	Are realists. They pay attention to details – including their physical surroundings – and are usually very practical. They tend to be loyal to organisations and are good followers if they are appreciated.
How information is gathered and taken in	Intuitives (N)	Conceptualise and dream about possibilities. They see everything in terms of what it means, rather than present consequences, and while they like to plan, organise and form relationships, they like to try new and different things.
How decisions are made	Thinkers (T)	See everything in light of reason and logic. They value intellect and reasonable thinking above all else, and the emotions of others – or themselves – are a secondary consideration. They do not understand why others react the way they do.
How decisions are made	Feelers (F)	Make decisions based on instinct, or gut feel, and the way they perceive others are feeling. They are sometimes illogical and unreasonable, deciding action based on the pain they or others are feeling.
How lives are organised	Perceivers (P)	Are comfortable with a crisis, and do not need to have things ordered, scheduled or planned. They can “drink in” a situation without feeling any need to make decisions – or conclusions – about it.
How lives are organised	Judgers (J)	Are most comfortable with order and schedule and knowing what to expect of themselves and others. The like a schedule (but not necessarily a routine), and find it difficult to function in an atmosphere they perceive as disordered. If they understand what is expected of them, they can be flexible.

(Source: Dealing with Difficult People by Charles J Keating)

So there you have it. From the Myers-Briggs Personality Type Indicator I know that I am an ENFJ, and I assume from my interactions with the soloist described, that he is an ENTP.

A recipe for disaster if ever I saw one! An organised person who values feelings and order, working with someone whose preference is not is clearly not a good combination.

In retrospect, the questions that I asked at the beginning should have been enough to indicate that the working relationship would be strained, but the need to “make the sale” over-rode my better judgement.

Also, I made a decision to help out based on a feeling, rather than a good business sense.

In a traditional job we have time to develop and nurture our working relationships. We often don’t have this luxury as soloists, because our need to take on business, as well as the excitement of closing the sale, can make it difficult to be objective.

We also have to deal with generational differences, gender, culture and task/people orientation. But that’s another story!

Diane Lee is a teacher, writer & editor, who specialises in training, development and communications. Her mission is to encourage better ways of communicating with each other in the workplace, so that interactions are quality interactions.

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Brilliant article. In regards to "In a traditional job we have time to develop and nurture our relationships. We often don’t have this luxury as soloists, because our need to take on business, as well as the excitement of closing the sale, can make it difficult to be objective," - this helps remind us why sometimes we do things we hate afterwards.
Learning to be objective and not be emotionally attached to the outcome, was an important lesson for me a few years ago. Using one's passion, enthusiasm and creativity is what we do - stepping back and being objective is something we have to practise in order to have a happy marriage between work/projects and the outcome.
Have a great day. Karen from Springwood NSW
Equally important is to accept our own limitations in who we deal with, and explain those carefully. I'm an ISTJ, and not an idiot, and focus on the end result. I'm not interested in some warm fuzzy lead up to the result. I've found that when I explain that to potential suppliers and clients, they then can choose whether they want to deal with me. Most do, some don't. And since I've been doing this, the process seems to be running with fewer frustrations. Denise from Kumeu
As a fellow ISTJ, Denise I agree and I always warn potential clients of what I'm like to assess their reactions. Unsurprisingly, the ones most enthusiastic at the beginning of a project are the ones who like me least at the end and the ones most cautious and cynical to begin with are usually the happiest at the end. Grant Hyman from Sydney | Read my articles
I know exactly what you mean! I'm not sure if the project has turned out alright, but if not then you could steer him to one of the web-based e-mail marketing packages that could help him with all this for $30 per month, and gets you out of a loss-making project. Let me know if you need the name of a good one.
I've done this a couple of times and it's better for the stress level in the long run! Peter Griffin from Sydney
I am sorry Dianne, but I must express my concern. Not with your very sound concept of walking away from some jobs or clients, with which I 100% agree, but with the intimated use of the MBTI as even a minor deciding factor for making that choice.
Your comments: "A recipe for disaster if ever I saw one! An organised person who values feelings and order, working with someone whose preference is not is clearly not a good combination" related to the MBTI, TMS or other psychological/ psychometric indicator are not in my opinion a positive use of type.
Labelling and categorising a person negatively polarises rather than aids communication. As you would know well the point of understanding personality is to calmly analyse individual differences and work in a positive way with the differing types, adjusting our interactions to create win/win effects. But also one must make assessment of situations, social issues, and a range of other "drivers". As you are (I believe) a practitioner, I would have preferred a more positive, solution-driven article, and definitely one which did not make an assumption about another person's "type" using such a seemingly small amount of interaction as a basis for your conclusions. Karen Dempster from Melbourne Australia
Actually the combinations you suggest are bad could be good.
Myers-Briggs is to help us appreciate and work with others differences - not a way to criticise. Evan Hadkins from Sydney, Australia

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