Dressing for success: The art of being yourself

When you are meeting with the big end of town, do you dress up for the occasion? This is a dilemma many soloists are faced with when they need to move from their home office and meet in a corporate environment. How important is dressing for success?

As a soloist I pride myself in being an individual - slightly eccentric and pretty happy in my own skin. After all, these were powerful reasons why I was so compelled to set out alone in business in the first place. Last week, however, I found myself trying to be something that I’m not and it shocked me how easily it happened.

I was getting prepared for an important meeting with an organisation that is a significant leader in its field. I was going through my wardrobe deciding what to wear when I heard an email arrive. It was the executive assistant to the CEO letting me know that photographs were also going to taken at the meeting.

Suddenly my slight anxiety about what I was going to wear became a mild panic! My shirts began to look all wrong – either too dressy, too casual or too out of date.

Then up popped a nagging question: should I wear a tie? I haven’t bought a tie in over five years and I have only worn it once. I am usually very comfortable going tie-less. Yet, suddenly it seemed like a huge dilemma.

And then there was my hair. I no longer have what would be considered a particularly “corporate” hairstyle. I’m comfortable with that. But as my anxiety about the meeting started to increase, my coiffured locks, which my hairdresser would describe as “relaxed”, were beginning to look a total mess!

I felt dejected and my previous confidence about the meeting evaporated, as I wallowed in self-pity and bemoaned the fact I could no longer do “corporate” like I used to.

Then I thought to myself, hang on, despite your success you never really fitted into the corporate world! And I remembered how, newly qualified as an accountant, I was told by my managers that although my work was excellent, I was too “laid back”.

Back then you were either “dynamic” - which appeared to mean running around like a headless chicken, creating dramas, upsetting people and working ridiculously long hours – or “laid back”. Given that choice, I preferred laid back, which to me meant no dramas, work done on time and an enjoyable working atmosphere.

This reminded me about the reasons why I am a soloist and why I had no choice other than to fly solo. I love being my own boss. I use my intuition and instinct about what work to take on, when to progress projects and when to put them on the back-burner. I like to trust my ability to allow things to happen effortlessly and easily without forcing things.

I love to create my own rules and think outside the box. My most creative work inevitably happens when I am walking in nature or on the beach, not sitting at a desk. I don’t do mornings very well and only really start to come to life after midday. My mornings are generally quiet, sacred moments set aside for contemplation, meditation and visioning.

I turn down work that doesn’t feel right or happen naturally, trusting from that I will create a vacuum into which the work I’m passionate about can flow.

So as I gradually coached myself back to sanity, I began to feel grateful for having taken the courageous steps on the road, along with many other soloists, towards a more authentic way of working and a mastery of the art of being yourself.

And the meeting? Oh, it went well. I wore my favourite shirt and left my ties to gather more dust in my wardrobe!

Peter Morgan is a Personal and Business Coach, Group Facilitator and Trainer who is dedicated to creating a life he loves and inspiring others to do so too!

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I've been thinking about this article all day ... really looking at how I respond. I know it sounds awful, but I really feel like the 'country bumpkin' at many networking meetings. I have to travel so far, and do not regularly mix with the 'in set'. As a creative, I am told I dress well, but as I tend to use colours, rather than just black, I just don't seem to fit in. But that could be just my perception. I think it's more about oozing confidence and for women, often it's when we feel good, feel we have dressed our best and have a 'good hair day' that we feel confident. I could be wrong. But it's a very interesting subject to look at. I am also at that certain age of an older woman who feels a lot younger. If I had gone to a meeting and was told photos were to be taken, I would also have been in quite a dilemma - probably worse.
Today for instance, I wore business dress in the morning - just because I felt like it - and felt really good. Then at 3pm I went to an exercise class and spent the rest of the work afternoon in pigtails and gym gear. And felt just as happy and creative. I guess it's a woman's prerogative to change her mind and feel happy and creative in different guises.
I would love to hear what other women of a certain age working from a home office think about themselves and how they dress at different times of the day? Karen from Springwood NSW
Can't respond to your question, Karen, apart from suggesting that men are similar in being caught between assumed expectations and our own comfort preferences.
I would rather wear a tie than a suit, and I rarely wear a tie. I honestly don't think that most clients care just so long as we dress in a manner generally appropriate to the context of the meeting - these days, producing a quality result at a reasonable fee and within an agree timeframe seems to be most important! Grant Hyman from Sydney | Read my articles
Karen, once I left the corporate world I left my more formal attire behind. And now it doesn't fit anyway - if I had to go to Court, I'd probably buy a new suit, but other than that, I don't worry about what others think. If people weren't brave enough to be individuals we'd still all be wearing corsets and hats. Yuck!! As for how the day progresses, I'm usually too busy to notice - but if'I've been to the gym, it can take me a couple of hours to dress right again. Denise Maffey CA from Kumeu NZ
Recently I was asked to attend a meeting with the big guns of the industry. My wife suggested i dress for the occassion. Slacks and a long sleeve shirt and took a tie. When i got to the meeting I said in a very loud voice so thta all could hear ' my wife suggested i dress appropriately for you gentle men' in saying this I produced a bow tie with Pooh bear on it. Well did it break the ice roars of laughter.
They know Im a soloist and proud of it and will expect to see me dressed as I like cumfortable.
( betcha there green with envy) patrick burgess from north ryde nsw
Patrick - that's priceless. :)
And for the record, I am dressed for this lovely Spring day appropriate for me - dressy (as I really like nice feminine clothing), but definitely not corporate. Karen from Springwood NSW
My dad, who spent years in executive suit and tie now consults to various companies, working mainly from home and 'smart casual' is fine. Occassionally he needs to head down to Sydney for meetings and has come up with a great intro ..... if you want me to wear a collar and tie I will, but it will cost you $xxx per hour more. No-one has yet forced his hand ;) Joanne from Milsons Point

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