Gift giving: a selfless elf or last minute Dasher?

Sam Leader

Soloists have lots to look forward to at this time of year, with a well-deserved break on the cards for most of us. But December also has its stresses, many of them gift-related.

Peter’s piece on gifts for clients certainly got you stirred up, with opinions ranging from ‘it’s a brilliant idea’ to ‘it encourages mindless consumerism’.

While the necessity of gifts for clients is debatable, I reckon we feel a stronger sense of obligation to get something for family and friends.

We go about gift buying for loved ones in different ways.

For many, endless thought is put into Christmas gifts. My friend Faye has a present book for recording ideas, a present box that is added to throughout the year and buys her Christmas loo roll (I’m serious) in October.

Then there’s my mate Dave who leaves present buying til Christmas Eve and spends a fortune as a result. He calls it “buying my way out of trouble” but admits the result is ultimately expensive and unsatisfying, with his wife joining the Boxing Day queue at DJ’s exchange counter more often than not.

My siblings and I have a longstanding gift amnesty, preferring instead to exchange birthday presents.

My favourite is the Secret Santa model, where one person is responsible for another family member’s ‘main’ gift and limited to spending a maximum of $20 on everyone else.

Putting a limit on festive spending forces our imaginations to kick in. I’m not saying expensive gifts can’t be thoughtful, but cheap ones have to be.

Last year my favourite gift was also the least expensive - unscented shower gel to which my aromatherapist friend had added essential oils which “remind me of you.”

A well-thought out, cheap present is way preferable to an extravagant but meaningless one.

What way of giving works for you? Add a comment to let us know.

This is my last Soapbox of 2007. Thanks for reading and for contributing to so many lively conversations throughout the year. Here's to more of the same in 2008.

Love your work!

Sam Leader is a director of Flying Solo and its editor. She is the co-author of Flying Solo - How to go it alone in business.

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A permission slip came home last night from my sons class for secret Santa. The suggested gift was under $5, handmade, store bought or a poem. During lean times, my husband and I have exchanged poems on more than one occasion. They are poignant and reminiscent of the time we have spent together, and carry far more depth and importance than anything store bought. Though I am not sure if a bunch of ten year old school kids will be impressed if they got a poem! Heather Smith from Brisbane
Long ago when my adult daughter was a toddler, I wasn't working and my husband was in a job that only paid on sales and we had very little. I made presents including a large rag doll that I sewed - including the clothes. That rag doll still exists and reminds me of both the love and creative capabilities that exist in us. Also, when I was only six years old, I got out of bed to go to the bathroom one night before Christmas and I remember peeking through the lounge room door and seeing my mother at the sewing machine cutting up her wedding dress with lace all over the floor. On Christmas morning we found in our Santa sacks a beautiful bride doll each for both myself and my sister. She had sacrificed what was important to her at the time just for us. Mum always said she had given the dress away, but we knew better and kept her secret safe. Those dolls were treasured for years until they eventually fell apart and the memory is just as alive today. Karen from Springwood NSW
Secret Santa's got my vote - it cuts the implied obligation to spend up big to 'prove you care' and puts the fun back into Xmas morning with excitement of "what is it?" as opposed to "did I get what I asked for?" Grant Hyman from Sydney | Read my articles
This year I am making calenders for my grandparents, using photographs of their family new and old, the year before I made them photo albums which brought tears to their eyes - what store bought gift could do that? Holly from Scoresby
To Karen, what a gorgeous gift on so many levels ... I'm a bit teary reading your message. I remember my Mum sitting up until 2am to finish sewing dresses the night before a big event after working long days running a dairy farm. Those women were amazing... Bev from Brisbane
As a family of adults now we give each other presents from World Vision. This year our plan is to put in $100 each and buy a well for a town in Africa. In the past we have tended to choose for Asian countries as they are closer to Australia. It is a feel good present to give. Ananda from Brisbane

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