Confidence building: Building confidence by using fear

Even the most confident people feel an element of fear when they step outside their comfort zone. Think of someone successful. That person has felt fear too, but they faced their fear and gave it a go. You can use fear for confidence building too!

I went to see a recent client, a barrister, in court and watched in awe as he eloquently and confidently addressed the judge and jury. To see him all self-assured, you’d think he was born a natural public speaker.

Not so. When he was a young adult and junior solicitor he suffered the usual gut wrenching nerves that many of us experience when we speak in front of people. But rather than letting his fear hold him back, he learnt the techniques of good public speaking, and then, despite feeling insecure and sick with nerves, he just did it, over and over and over again through public speaking engagements, debating opportunities and so on. This helped him with building confidence.

He made mistakes along the way, but he also made something else: an absolute success of himself! No matter what the result, good or bad, each time he spoke publicly he faced his fear rather than allowing it to hold him back. And naturally over time, the fear lessened and confidence took its place.

The moral of the story is: Fear it. Do it.

When we’re faced with a fearful task most of us think: “I’ll do that when I’m more confident and experienced”. But we only build confidence and experience when we actually do it.

If our barrister waited for the day when he was confident about public speaking without actually doing anything, he’d probably be working in a different job today, still waiting, and probably riddled with “What ifs?”.

Fear restricts us from reaching our full potential, and sadly, it has put many soloists out of business. The next time you are faced with a fearful task, help yourself with building confidence by repeating the following Positive Words and Affirmations (also known as a POW-A script).

Read it. Repeat it. Believe it. Achieve it.

Positive Words

I am going to overcome my fear.
Every time I do something that I fear, I will grow in confidence.
Now is the time for me to do it.
I will equip myself with the skills to do this properly. I will learn, read and research.
I will seek input and feedback from knowledgeable people.
I will practice and prepare.
I will do my very best.
If I make mistakes, I will only get better as a result of making them.
I am a success every time I face my fear, no matter what the result.
Fear will no longer hold me back in life. I will grow, and so will my business!

Affirmations

I am a success
I am brave
I am skilled
I am prepared and ready for all opportunities

Remember that as a soloist, you’re already a success.

Many people yearn to have their own business but never have the courage to start one up. Give yourself a pat on the back, you chose to leave the nest and fly solo. Face the fear in all areas of your business and by building confidence you will give yourself a chance to really soar.

What do you fear the most? Has fear ever held you back? Have you overcome any fears, and if so, how?

Lucinda Lions is a professional writer/copywriter who specialises in writing persuasively in order to turn your readers into customers, and your browsers into buyers.

24 Dec 08

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I have been thinking about starting up my own business for about 12 months and i realise now that all the valid reasons why i tell myself that i shouldn't start up the business just yet, are really just excuses because i'm too afraid to take the plunge. Fear is definitely holding me back, but i do feel now that I want to face my fears. Thanks for the inspiration and motivation, I am going to print out your article and read it everytime I make excuses to myself, which is daily! J.Wa from Blakehurst, Sydney, Australia
As they taught me in knitting class - NO GUTS, NO GLORY! Grant Hyman - salescentral from Sydney
Good for you, J.Wa! If you've been visiting Flying Solo and doing research for the past 12 months then you'd be equipped with loads of useful information. All you need now is Grant's knitting class! ;) Lucinda from www.relaxation2u.com.au
I reckon we could all use a regular dose of Grant's knitting class ;-) Great article - thanks! Stepped off the ledge September last year, after "thinking about it" far too long. Butterflies still there on a regular basis, but I'm having the best time. If you've done your homework, J.Wa, go for it! You won't look back! Marion - www.mbdata.com.au from Sydney
What a fantastic article! Fear is such a contributing factor in many areas of our lives, not just our businesses, and if recognised for what it is, it is much easier to deal with. Thank you! Natasha Preston from Freshwater, Sydney, Australia
“Staying in your comfort zone kills your ambition and prevents you from reaching new levels. You must not let the desire to be comfortable rule your life”
I’ve been putting off speaking in front of about 50 people for the last 3 months but finally the date is set and I’ve nowhere to hide anymore. Am I frightened? You bet I’m but on the other hand now in a way am looking forward to my “big debut” I’ll let you know how it went. Judit Nagy www.theofficewitch.com.au from Sydney

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