Making difficult decisions

When making difficult decisions, the options can feel like deciding between swimming a river full of crocodiles or staying to fight a pack of dingoes. So what should you do?

Here are some tips to help you navigate through this challenging obstacle course.

The logical way of making difficult decisions

The good old pros and cons list. This will clarify the issues and benefits associated with each choice. Sometimes the choice becomes clear at this point. The next step is just taking the plunge.

The intuitive way of making difficult decisions

Step 1. Employ the self-examination technique. If the choices weigh up evenly and both fill you with dread, then you need to look internally and ask a serious, lay-it-on-the-line question:

“Are you making conscious choices based on your vision and purpose, or are you falling back in to ways of thinking and feeling that are based on fear and worry?”

Unconscious fear and dread are not good things to use to guide you when making difficult decisions.

The next step is to tune in to your inner compass for guidance.

Step 2. Get to the bottom of it: what do you really want? There's a big difference between this and “What should I do?” The 'shoulds' weigh you down, after all obligation is hardly inspiring. What you 'want' focuses your thoughts on possibilities, and gets to the real heart of the matter – what is your ultimate desired outcome.

Step 3. Look after YOU: what is in YOUR best interest? We often put everyone else ahead of ourselves when making difficult decisions and this serves no one's best interest. Being of service and making a contribution does not mean sacrificing your own health and happiness.

Dealing with cancer made it very easy for me to say 'no' and make decisions as my life was literally on the line. Now I know I do not need a life-threatening illness to give me permission to look after me and my best interests. No one does. Your life is sacred, whether under threat of illness or not. Stop making decisions that sacrifice its primacy, for this is indeed how you invite illness into your life.

So, ask what is in YOUR best interest, and explore this authentically.

Step 4. Heed your innards: what does our Inner Voice say? We've all got that guiding inner sense. Call it intuition, call it your Higher Self, call it God. Most of us have learned to ignore it rather than be guided by it.

However, tuning into your feelings and your hidden inner thoughts is one of the most reliable sources of guiding intelligence.

Step 5. Now what? Have you still got resistance? Likely any tremors of doubt or worry are lingering hangovers from an old way of feeling and being, based in fear, judgement and worry. This is just the detoxing process as you choose a heart-centered way of being, instead of the fear-based way of being.

Your new self-awareness strengthens your inner resilience. As you step through the moment of making the decision, you will experience a profound relief. Any remaining resistance will slip away – a spiritual cleansing of your soul, like new rain washing away muddy waters.

Zoe Routh is a Success Coach for Business Owners. She specialises in productivity and mindset makeovers to boost passion, purpose and profit.

30 Oct 09

Print this item

8 comments | Add your own 1 2 | Next» View all»

Great tips. I am a Step 4 kind of person. I believe very much in my intuition - often you find yourself going back to what you knew was the right thing to do anyway after trying all the other steps. Amanda Griscti - northridge creations from Sydney
Great article Zoe. Personally I don't like the pro and con list idea, because the various points need a different weighting based on how important each are. That complicates the system.
If it's not a really important decision, I flip a coin. It adds humour if you ask the salesperson or waiter to call it, but I go for heads anyways.
For important decisions, my version of the intuitive way is that I pretend I've decided one way on one day. The next day I swap, and see how the alternate outcome sits with me.
Last time I used this system, I sat on option A for three days, before swapping to option B. Within half a day I realised that option B was firmly the right choice to make.
I like your article, because I think you really do know inside yourself what's the best decision to make, but it's often clouded by emotions. Any system that helps break through that is good! Ben. The Blue Mexican from Sydney
Zoe, excellent article. From the practical, to the mental, to the soulful and the spiritual. I think you covered everything :) Rich from Sydney
Hi Zoe,
Each person has their own set of values and beliefs that can cloud big decisions. I like to mull things over as you suggested in your article and then maybe run the idea past 3 or 4 people whom I know have different views and experience than me.
I look out for me justifying my arguments or showing signs of defensiveness. These are my surest signs that I need to examine my decision more closely. It means that I probably have some deep reservation and am looking for the person to justify for me.
I have read some great and not so great books on decision making. One that stands out as practical and useful is Powerful Questions by Christo Norden-Powers. It's more to do with asking questions so that you can make informed decisions and not be diverted by fuzzy language.
I use many of these techniques in my work and personal life. Simon Franklin from Sydney, Australia
Hi Amanda
Yes I find I am always right when I follow my gut, even when you have to go through a 'crucible' experience to get to the other side! It's so worth it!
Zoe Zoe Routh from Canberra | Read my articles
Ben - I am a big fan of 'rehearsing' - what a great suggestion to apply it to the decision making process! I might pinch that technique for myself and my clients - awesome!
Zoe Zoe Routh from canberra | Read my articles

8 comments | Add your own 1 2 | Next» View all»

Add Your comments

Preview comment

Name

Website *

Town / city and country

Email (never sold, displayed or given away)

* This will link your name to your site. So please avoid self promotion elsewhere! We delete spam, disrespectful or off-topic comments.