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I have lost the fun me

Discussion in 'Wellbeing & balance' started by Roxette, Sep 15, 2017.

  1. Roxette

    Roxette Member

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    Pre business and pre baby I used to be fun, energetic I could have a laugh and life wasn't overly serious.
    Now I am boring, I take life way too seriously and I struggle to have fun and laugh. The pressure of starting my own business 2.5 years ago and having a baby has sucked all the fun and life out of me. My mind is always thinking and stressing about business and I struggle to switch off at the end of the day. I have little energy to give to my 1.5 year old at the end of the day. Family day is Sunday, so I try to switch off then and have fun with my family. I take things personally and let things effect me way too much!

    But I'm not the same person I used to be.
    How can I find this person again?
    How can I take life less seriously, laugh more, learn to have fun and be more relaxed and not so stressed all the time?
  2. Byron Trzeciak

    Byron Trzeciak Well-Known Member

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    I think regardless of whether you have a baby or not, alot of entrepreneurs and solo'ers would be going through similar emotions to you. I think a baby just makes it all the more challenging.

    What's your business Roxette? Do you have enough business coming in?

    Probably need a bit more context about what your day looks like and what your pain points might be before anybody can give you some good feedback.
  3. Paul - FS Concierge

    Paul - FS Concierge Administrator Staff Member

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    Hi and Welcome to Flying Solo Roxette - thank you for joining us.

    Thanks also for being so open and sharing with us.

    I feel your pain and sometimes feel the same way, especially about being serious all of the time, not switching off and having less fun than I used to.

    I feel that stress doesn't help in any material way unless... you can recognise you are stressed and use that as a signal to take some action eg, "I feel stressed about not having enough money. I will call 10 prospects today to win more business".

    I hope our members can help you out.

    Cheers
  4. Roxette

    Roxette Member

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    I run a kids Hair Salon from home specialising in the treatment of head lice. I feel a lot of pressure to succeed to help with bills and prove my business to my family. Business up and down. Some weeks are super busy but some weeks can be quiet, so those times get stressful and I spend a lot of time trying to drum up more business. But I believe in what I'm doing, I have big high hopes and dreams. I put too much pressure on myself I think!
  5. Corey

    Corey Active Member

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    g'day Roxette and welcome,

    there are many aspects of yourself. Create what is missing.
    Firstly eliminate a physical cause by going to your Doctor and have medical check up & blood work done.

    Secondly, consider regular exercise at your Local Council Leisure Centre or Gym.

    Thirdly, create a list of activities you enjoy or would like to achieve and start working on that.

    Keep us posted.

    Cheers
    Corey
  6. sam_leader

    sam_leader Active Member

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    Hi Roxette,

    I would highly recommend a visit to your doctor for some blood tests to check all your levels are in good shape (eg. iron, zinc, magnesium, vitamin B etc). I had no idea, but it turned out I was seriously iron deficient after having kids, and once I was on supplements life got so much better!

    I don't mean to trivialise or oversimplify what you're experiencing, but looking after yourself physically is a great start.

    All the best

    Sam
    Lucy Kippist likes this.
  7. Dennielle Lee

    Dennielle Lee Member

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    Hi Roxette, while reading this I thought that you may gain some inspiration for your business from Grace Lever. She is a very successful female entrepreneur, who has mastered the art of automating businesses. She specialises in assisting female entrepreneurs create lifestyle businesses, that is businesses that are centered on creating an optimal lifestyle. I recently went to one of her workshops which I found really inspiring. Here is a link to her blog, I thought you might find some helpful information regarding your business https://www.gracelever.com/blog/ .

    I would have to agree with the other posts, get a blood count to make sure that nutritionally, you've got all you need to stay vitalised and energised.

    Obviously a balanced diet and exercise are essential to feeling well.

    I'd also suggest, if you can setting aside some time each week for yourself. Whatever time you can spare to do something that you enjoy. Having some 'you time' is so important.

    I'd highly recommend giving meditation a go. You mentioned that being unable to switch off mentally was taking a toll on you and creating unnecessary stress. I can attest to this! I believe we all can.

    Establishing some form of meditation practice will allow you to develop the skills required to be able to 'switch off' at the end of the day. This is so important for your overall health and well-being. You will also feel less stressed and be able to enjoy those times when you're not working, such as family Sundays even more. They will be a refreshing time for you.

    There are ample podcasts out there that provide guided meditations. I would look for one that focuses on stress relief. Personally, I love mindfulness meditations.

    The key is to establish a regular meditation practice, because you have to do it regularly in order to get the benefits. Try to do 10 minutes a day. More if possible but I find that 10 minutes seems to be a pretty standard for a lot of the guided meditations. Night time would probably be a good time for you, it will help you wind down

    And for exercise, yoga is amazing! It's a great stress reliever. When we are stressed we carry some kind of tension in our bodies and yoga helps release this tension while also providing a great workout. You don't even have to go to a class, I go to YouTube whenever I want to do yoga.

    Best of luck xx
    arrowwise likes this.
  8. Dave - FS Concierge

    Dave - FS Concierge Administrator Staff Member

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    Well maybe it's the business. The whole thing. Even if business improves do you really think you'll get back all that fun and energy? Or will you just be even busier?

    You seem to have flagged the problem in the first 2 words of your post, so it's worth at least considering the obvious answer, considering what's at stake.

    May not be a popular answer on these forums though, because most of us are allergic to regular jobs. :)

    Best of luck.
    Dave
    Farce, Maken25 and Lucy Kippist like this.
  9. bb1

    bb1 Renowned Member

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    You seem to have had 2 major life changes at once, but remember neither may be the cause of your lack of ''fun'', are there even more contributing factors. Why did you originally think business your avenue, did you go to that to escape an unhappy job? Were you already on a downward spiral?

    You need to do some soul searching, and look at all the contributing factors,
  10. letsgetdowntobusiness

    letsgetdowntobusiness Member

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    I understand that. work life can often overtake personal life, but you are in the early stages of both your business and also being a mother. Perhaps when the child goes off to kindergarten, you can stress less on at least one thing!

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