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Howzit Chris,

Everyone has already stated some things that are ok and should be actioned.

Here’s the biggest problem I see with your ad:

It looks like an ad.

It looks like you’re trying to sell me something.

And I’m going to throw it out before you get the chance to “pitch” me.

The best ads in the world don’t look like ads

Believe it or not we don’t really enjoy reading ads but we do like reading relevant material that gives us valuable insights or entertaining information.

When we become business owners we unfortunately start to think like business owners…and not like our customers.

Tip: Don’t call your consultation a consultation, name it something else

Make it sound like a benefit and then put a value on it before the reader does.

Keep the word “free”

Call us by 25/12/2009 and get our Online Money Audit (value $199) Free!
(Limited to first 50 people)

Call to action + specific timeframe + free $199 + urgency = not too shabby

But again this is useless if your ad doesn’t pull me in