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NeilM
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Hi Tony

I agree with the need for an image and think it’s possible that the 24 hour turn-around is a turn-off (am not sure though so – would recommend you ask your customers about that one and/or test the copy).

Another possible solution to your problem is to ask: “What is keeping your prospects awake at night?” and play to that fear on your homepage.

So reading your “Why You Need a Proofreader” page, it sounds like you believe the biggest benefit of your service to be the potential loss of client through a perceived lack of care.

I think you should try to encapsulate that idea into a slogan or bi-line and put that front and centre on your home page.

Something like: “Because You only get One Chance to Make a Positive First Impression”

or

“Don’t Take Chances with Your Business Image”

I did a quick Google search for proof reading (try non-competing cities eg New York, LA, London). One of the first I saw from a company that came up in my New York search provided an example of the slogan idea I’m talking about:

Success on Every
Document, Every Time

http://www.eliteediting.com/default.aspx

I note that they see 24/7 service as a benefit.

The other thing you might consider doing in order to engage the readers more is to place the sentence riddled with errors that you mention on the “Why You Need a Proofreader” page straight under the slogan with the sub-heading: Can you spot the errors in this sentence? (at present – that sentence is completely lost in the existing text). Then go on to exploit the interest element by explaining:

1) that this sentence actually passed through a traditionally spell check

2) and the impact of such errors on the potential client (ie your existing copy).

Neil M