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Hi again

I’ve had another look and still, I’m not sold.

You’ve made some minimal changes, but the grammar is still off and you still don’t explain inactive users or what the benefits are. The other thing to note is, I’ve used one page as an example but this trend is echoed throughout your website.

Consider your audience. Why are they hiring you? Do they know much about social, or is it alien to them? How will it benefit them? Will some platforms benefit them more than others? Does this fit with their business/communications plan? Will they need to develop one to get the most out of this service? What seems obvious to you may not be to them.

Have they worked with social media agencies before? If so, is yours on par? What would convince them to transition to your service?

I’ve worked with other agencies and I wouldn’t consider switching based on this website. It doesn’t convey a sense of credibility or expertise to me.

You need to find a way to inform them while selling to them without being condescending.

Sorry for the brutal honesty, but this kind of feedback is going to help you build your business and it is offered as constructive criticism – social media might be your thing, but writing sales copy is not.

If you want this business to succeed you need to improve the copy on your website. And have a professional copywriter look over all your other promotional materials to ensure stylistic consistency and excellence across all assets.

There are plenty of amazing copywriters on this site, myself included – I’m a former journalist, so I’m a bit of a word nerd – and I think you should seriously consider grabbing a few quotes and outsourcing the copywriting (which is generally tax deductible).

As someone who is asking people to outsource to you, I’m sure you can understand that you can waste a lot of time, money and productivity trying to do everything in-house. Most often, these tasks could be completed more time and cost effectively by an experienced professional – not to mention, with better results!

In business you need to know what your strengths and weaknesses are, and when to ask for help. Me thinks it’s time to ask for help ;)

IncreaseyourfansAU, post: 204438 wrote:
Hey Wordsmith,

Appreciate the detailed feedback,

Just made a few touch-ups , if you could kindly review it again,

In regards to your third point, majority of accounts are inactive, So they dont engage with the user, but they do hold SEO value as its a domino effect on platforms such as twitter , Instagram and pinterest. Perception from users in the chosen platforms will think they hold brand value with more followers and will take more interest in the chosen niche.

Thanks again for your feedback, Can only improve from here.