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Hey there! I admire anyone that has the belief in themselves to start a business, so good on you. I did it 6 years ago now and am eternally grateful that I did.
In regard to your specific questions:
1) when you start out the small % charged by the Etsy’s of the world are often a better investment than the time and cost in building your own site. Remember you are paying for access to their pre-existing audience, you will not have access to this on your own site without time, SEO and site authority.
2) I don’t sell physical products but I have heard others rave about Sendle. They might be worth a look for your shipping query.
Furthermore, is there any chance you are under-pricing your products?
Sometimes it can feel scary to charge a ‘premium’ price for your products, especially if they are hand-made.
Not only do you need to make money, in order to have a successful business, but charging a higher price will attract a different type of clientele.
Just food for thought, I wish you all the best and would love to hear whichever way you go and I’ll be happy to follow you.