Am I in the wrong to hold my friends accountable?

[Kosta_Kondratenko]

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The e-mail that I will attach pretty much speaks for itself. The thing is some of my friends have not been coming to see me to hang out. You know, like for example we just did a bike ride and they said they would come out after and have a drink and they didn’t show up. This upsets me, not so much that my friends didn’t show up but that they said they would show up and ended up not showing up. So I let them know. Basically do you guys think I over reacted? I tried to be funny about it but seriously it gets to you after a while. Anyway here is the e-mail (read from the bottom as the reply is at the top like all e-mails).
Do you guys think I’m being too hard on my friends. Do you ever come across this. Are you upset and crying because I posted in the wrong forum topic? Let me know.

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From: Kosta’s Friend
Sorry Kosta for not keeping my word, I didn’t expect just exhaustion after the ride. I’ll try my best to keep my word for you mate.
I got home at 6:45 and conked out at 7:30..

We all know we cant get anything in life if we don’t stick to our word Kosta.
But you also cant get anything in life if you treat everybody like business objects. Don’t treat your best mates like one either. I’m being serious.

On 21/12/09 11:10 PM, “Kosta Kondratenko” wrote:
Hi guys (xxx and xxxx),

This is just a quick e-mail regarding the Shark Hotel, as you are by now aware you didn’t make it on the day. As far as I know it was because you were tired. Just stating for the record I thought that was a pretty pussy excuse. Military soldiers stay up for 3 days with no water and then stand at attention outside in the burning sun and they don’t complain.

Something came to my mind, and I know that there’s peer pressure to say “Bro it’s cool” I’m not going to do that. You are allowed to be tired, and exhausted, and in the end to be fair it was just Steven, his girlfriend and me. Now to make this quick and cut to the point here is something that I thought my friends did:

MY friends don’t pussy out of shit if they said they’re going to do it
MY friends’ word is gold, if my friend says he’s going to be there, he’s there

Maybe this is not normal. Well I’m here to tell this to you like this:

Simply, I’m raising my standards. You might have noticed I’ve been a lot more diligent with my organization and when a person raises their standards, if they’re around people who say “Broooo who cares, let’s not do it.” That makes them lose their standard. Here is what you can expect from me from now on:

• If you say something, and don’t follow through with it I will hold you accountable. If you want a friend who punches your shoulder in a friendly way and says “It’s all cool man” then there’s plenty of people like that around.

• I’m not going to talk about you guys behind your back anymore (to Steven or whoever) without also informing you of what is going on.

If you want something in this life, you have to stick to your word. Just because I’m your friend doesn’t mean you can say things to me and not follow it through.

Regards
PS. Bottom line: do whatever you wanna do, call me whatever you wanna call me, make faces I don’t know man live your life however you want to live it but if you say you’re going to do something especially when it relates to me then do it. Otherwsie don’t fuck me around like this anymore because if you won’t because if I can’t rely on you to be there when you say you’re going to be there then you can’t rely on me to be there when I’m going to be there.

[Chris Bates]

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KostaKondra, post: 21826 wrote:

But you also cant get anything in life if you treat everybody like business objects. Don’t treat your best mates like one either. I’m being serious.

Signed.

[MatthewKeath]

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Mate,

Didn’t you post a transcript of an email the other day? Is a small business forum really the right place to be airing this type of stuff?

Australia is not a very big place, if you were found to be slagging somebody online, I doubt they be very happy…

[Kosta_Kondratenko]

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Matthew: why would they care I wouldn’t. Their names have been removed for privacy so even if they found out, I’m just getting a second opinion. Unless you’re Brad Pitt you don’t have to worry about people reading your e-mail correspondence especially if they don’t know who you are. I appreciate your concern however I don’t feel like I’ve done something bad etc.

[MatthewKeath]

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KostaKondra, post: 21857 wrote:

Matthew: why would they care I wouldn’t.
If we did business and something went wrong, I would care if you posted a personal email to the world. Changing the names wouldn’t change my opinion at all.

If your PM’d me about work, I would be wary dealing with you,

Things go wrong, the world is not always nice – you need to resolve these issues yourself.

I am not 100% sure, but if you blacken someones name / or damage their business, I think they can go after you legally, online or not.

[Kosta_Kondratenko]

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Blacken who’s name. Believe me you’re not going to protect anyone by not working with me. If I was a con man I would come up here give you a hug and tell you ho you’re the greatest guy in the world and go surfing.

Also please check the law carefully as in order to blacken someone’s name you actually have to say their name in order for their name to be blackened.

Sometimes you don’t really need to put your nose into a thick law book and using your common sense will prevail. For example, talking about blackening someone’s name when you don’t even mention their name is not blackening someone’s name, I’m not going to explain to you why.

You never need to be weary of dealing with anyone if the quality of your work is good and you have integrity. If you have something to hide you probably would not want to work with me because I am not into getting ripped off and I have an open door policy. In other words I don’t say anything that I don’t mind getting published in a newspaper, if you are worried about communicating with someone due to the fact that they may publish that particular dispute with a third party you should be more concerned with staying professional rather than what someone else does. You can’t control what other people do or say about you.

It’s funny you say I need to resolve these issues myself when you can see clearly I have gone off at the party in general, do you really believe I care one bit if they found out I posted this on a forum?

Seriously people a word of advice. If you’re so worried about people finding out about what you say and do maybe the mask you’re wearing is getting a little bit rusty and digging into your skin and you should maybe take it off or buy one not quite so rigid.

You make graphics. That’s great and I’m sure you do great work. I don’t post e-mails unless there is
1) A problem.
2) I’m confused as to how to resolve it.

Let me guess. You would probably be weary of giving me your mobile number. You remind me of this person I met once who looked worried when I asked for his mobile, after spending 4 minutes explaining to him that he is not George Clooney, citing the facts he finally relented and gave it to me.

Regards

[MatthewKeath]

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KostaKondra, post: 21869 wrote:

Blacken who’s name. Believe me you’re not going to protect anyone by not working with me. If I was a con man I would come up here give you a hug and tell you ho you’re the greatest guy in the world and go surfing.

Also please check the law carefully as in order to blacken someone’s name you actually have to say their name in order for their name to be blackened.

Sometimes you don’t really need to put your nose into a thick law book and using your common sense will prevail. For example, talking about blackening someone’s name when you don’t even mention their name is not blackening someone’s name, I’m not going to explain to you why.

You never need to be weary of dealing with anyone if the quality of your work is good and you have integrity. If you have something to hide you probably would not want to work with me because I am not into getting ripped off and I have an open door policy. In other words I don’t say anything that I don’t mind getting published in a newspaper, if you are worried about communicating with someone due to the fact that they may publish that particular dispute with a third party you should be more concerned with staying professional rather than what someone else does. You can’t control what other people do or say about you.

It’s funny you say I need to resolve these issues myself when you can see clearly I have gone off at the party in general, do you really believe I care one bit if they found out I posted this on a forum?

Seriously people a word of advice. If you’re so worried about people finding out about what you say and do maybe the mask you’re wearing is getting a little bit rusty and digging into your skin and you should maybe take it off or buy one not quite so rigid.

You make graphics. That’s great and I’m sure you do great work. I don’t post e-mails unless there is
1) A problem.
2) I’m confused as to how to resolve it.

Let me guess. You would probably be weary of giving me your mobile number. You remind me of this person I met once who looked worried when I asked for his mobile, after spending 4 minutes explaining to him that he is not George Clooney, citing the facts he finally relented and gave it to me.

Regards

???? Are you asking for my mobile number? Thanks for the giggles Kosta!

[onlineiq]

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I think keeping your word is paramount but it seems there is more to the story here which we don’t really know about.

You mentioned that you weren’t sure what to do with your friends response hence posted here.

If it was me, I’d get back to your friend to find out what he meant by feeling treated like a business object. It seems like he took your point and is giving you an opening for a conversation which needs to happen and sort some thing out. I think direct communication is the best way, as it certainly isn’t past the point of no return with the friendship from what little I can read into the situation.

cheers
Ursh

[Author]

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