Home – New Forums Other discussions Staying sane! You up for a laugh?!

  • This topic is empty.
Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 15 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #963917
    LucindaLions
    Member
    • Total posts: 7
    Up
    0
    ::

    Hi Guys,

    As you know, a day in the life of small business can be extremely stressful. I find a great way to unleash tension is to have a really good belly laugh! Kids laugh something like 400 times a day, and us boring adults manage about 15 (if that?!) Are you ever up for a cack?

    Anyway, I’m going to share something with you that I found hilarious – apologies for it being so long! If you feel so inclined, please share something with me too, or at least let me know if you experienced even just a tinge of a smile when you read this…. :)

    The following excerpts are actual answers given on history tests and
    in Sunday school quizzes by children between 5th and 6th grade.
    They were collected over a period of three years by two teachers.

    The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn’t have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a young female moth.

    Socrates was a famous old Greek teacher who went around giving people
    advice. They killed him. He later died from an overdose of wedlock which
    is apparently poisonous. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic
    decline.

    Queen Elizabeth was the ‘Virgin Queen’. As a queen she was a success.
    When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted ‘hurrah!’ and
    that was the end of the fighting for a long while.

    Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100-foot clipper which was
    very dangerous to all his men.

    The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was
    born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much
    money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies,
    comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter

    Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large
    number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he
    kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the
    most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half
    German, half Italian, and half English. He was very large.

    Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf that he
    wrote loud music and became the father of rock and roll. He took long
    walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Bethoven
    expired in 1827 and later died for this.

    #1000903
    MissieK
    Member
    • Total posts: 234
    Up
    0
    ::

    ROFLMAO!!!! That is so funny. Thank you for sharing that – a great start to the day :)

    Melissa

    #1000904
    Mike@Maxell
    Member
    • Total posts: 4
    Up
    0
    ::

    I know I don’t get to 15 laughs a day – but no wonder kids are always so refreshing and alive – they keep themselves dosed up on laughing juice.

    A popular site for me is the John Clarke – Brian Dawe page. I often miss the 7:30 report and go to the website to have a laugh and a break from the serious work we all do.

    The 7.30 Report – ABC

    Mike

    #1000905
    JohBD
    Member
    • Total posts: 16
    Up
    0
    ::

    This is great! I used up lots of my laughing quota reading these hilarious quotes.

    I love laughing but definitely don’t do it as much as I used to. I find having a two-year-old guarantees at least a few giggles each day though, especially when he tells me he’s had a fright as an excuse for a cuddle.

    #1000906
    LucindaLions
    Member
    • Total posts: 7
    Up
    0
    ::

    Thanks for sharing your comments, guys. Melissa, so glad that this brightened up your day. I love starting the day with a laugh! Mike, thanks for recommending the John Clarke/Brian Dawe site. Those guys are hilarious. I often wonder how many ‘takes’ it takes for them to get through a skit – surely they must be cracking up all the time?! And Johanna, your son sounds delightful. Kids still see the magic and humour in everyday things, and that is simply priceless!!

    #1000907
    GrantH
    Member
    • Total posts: 7
    Up
    0
    ::

    Thanks, Lucinda – I like it when my face is smiling!

    Grant Hyman
    http://www.granthyman.com

    #1000908
    Burgo
    Participant
    • Total posts: 2,104
    Up
    0
    ::

    Great enjoy a good laugh

    How risky are we allowed to take the Humour?

    #1000909
    Steven Hudson
    Member
    • Total posts: 122
    Up
    0
    ::

    As Rik Mayall said ‘Laugh! I nearly bought my own drink’.
    As Steven Hudson said ‘Laugh, keeps me happy’
    AS Lucinda Said ‘Giving Excellence. Taking Pride.’

    Thanks Lucinda and keep it comming.

    Cheers

    #1000910
    LucindaLions
    Member
    • Total posts: 7
    Up
    0
    ::

    Hi Guys, thanks so much for your posts. Grant, I agree, it’s a nice feeling when our faces smile. Years ago I saw a sticker that read, “A smile costs nothing”. I love that message, and it’s especially relevant in these current economic times.

    Burgo, you ask an interesting question. Hmmm, I wonder if anyone knows the answer? I suspect the answer is in the ‘terms and conditions’. ;)

    And Steve, your post is great. It’s simple, yet poignant: ‘Laugh, keeps me happy’.
    Keeps me happy too!
    Have a great day everyone,
    Lucinda :)

    #1000911
    Carole
    Member
    • Total posts: 67
    Up
    0
    ::

    I agree with you Lucinda, a smile certainly goes a long way.
    I wish that sales assistants would do more smiling and less talking. They would get more business from me.
    Cheers

    #1000912
    LucindaLions
    Member
    • Total posts: 7
    Up
    0
    ::

    Carole, your profile picture is gorgeous, and it immediately brought a smile to my face. Here’s my suggestion. Make your profile picture into a real-sized face mask, and the next time the sales assistant ignores you, put on the face mask and start a conversation while nodding wisely. Bet you’ll get some attention then! :)

    #1000913
    Carole
    Member
    • Total posts: 67
    Up
    0
    ::

    Good one, Lucinda!

    #1000914
    Andrew Newman
    Member
    • Total posts: 78
    Up
    0
    ::

    Thanks Lucinda. You have put a big smile on my face.

    We should all take more time to have a laugh and have a bit of fun!

    Here are a few funny quotes that are short and sweet from celebrities:

    I’m an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.
    Zsa Zsa Gabor

    I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.
    Charles Lamb

    Women prefer men who have something tender about them – especially legal tender.
    Kay Ingram

    I was a bank teller. That was a great job. I was bringing home $450,000 a week.
    Joel Lindley

    Have a wonderful day!

    #1000915
    LucindaLions
    Member
    • Total posts: 7
    Up
    0
    ::

    Thank YOU Andrew! I particularly like the quote by Charles Lamb. Classic!

    #1000916
    Burgo
    Participant
    • Total posts: 2,104
    Up
    0
    ::

    A small boy was lost at a large shopping mall.
    He approached a uniformed policeman and said, “I’ve lost my grandpa!”
    “The cop asked, “What’s he like?”
    The little boy hesitated for a moment and then replied,
    “Crown Royal whiskey and women with big boobs.”

    Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, ‘Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.’
    – Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)
    <><>
    I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the
    catalog: – ‘No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.’
    – Eleanor Roosevelt
    <><>
    Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister,
    and now wish to withdraw that statement.
    – Mark Twain
    <><>
    The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close
    together as possible.
    – George Burns
    Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.
    – Victor Borge
    <><>
    Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
    – Mark Twain
    <><>
    By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.
    – Socrates
    <><>
    I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
    – Groucho Marx
    <><>
    My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.
    – Jim my Durante
    <><>
    I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.
    – Zsa Zsa Gabor
    <><>
    Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.
     Alex Levine
    Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP.
    – Joe Namath

    I hope these dont offend?

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 15 total)
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.