Technology jokes, puns and limericks – share yours! :)

[bradzo]

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Ok, I’ll start:

A programmer started to cuss
Cos getting to sleep was a fuss
As he lay in his bed, going round in his head
was while (!asleep) sheep++

[Greg_M]

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Not original …

C://dos
C://dos.run
run.dos.run

or …

Perl, the only language that looks the same before and after RSA encryption.

foo bar … where programmers drink.

I will now probably waste the better part of the day trying to do something original.

[PerfectNotes-Kathy]

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bradzo, post: 176794 wrote:

Ok, I’ll start:

A programmer started to cuss
Cos getting to sleep was a fuss
As he lay in his bed, going round in his head
was while (!asleep) sheep++

Noooooo!!!!

It’s going to take me days to get rid of this!!!

[Greg_M]

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PerfectNotes-Kathy, post: 176868 wrote:

Noooooo!!!!

It’s going to take me days to get rid of this!!!

Me too.

Had stupid methods going around in my head for a large chunk of the day trying to come up with an original one that comes close to the OP.

Shows I’ve got too much time on my hands.

[bradzo]

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I must confess, mine wasn’t original either… But they don’t have to be limericks. Anything tech related that’s a bit of a laugh is also good – just thought it might be good to collect a few things in the one place.

So, here’s another – not original, but reworded just for Flying Solo

An oldie but a goodie. (Goodies, goody goody yum yum!)

Relax, grab a coffee and enjoy.

Support: Hello and welcome to Lled Computers. How can I help?

Customer: Um, I seem to have broken my coffee cup holder.

Support: In your car?

Customer: No, on my computer.

Support: On your computer?

Customer: Yes, you know, you press a button and that little tray slides out. Well, it doesn’t slide out anymore, so I don’t have anywhere to put my coffee cup.

Support: No, you’re supposed to put a cdrom in it.

Customer: A cdrom? No, I only ever put Nescafe in my cup.

Support: No, I meant in the tray.

Customer: Put Nescafe in the tray? That’s what I’m trying to tell you. The tray doesn’t work anymore. And anyway, even if It did, it’d just fall through the hole in the middle!

Support: (sigh)

Customer: Hello? Hello?

[Greg_M]

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Plagiarism I can manage.

A programmer’s wife tells him: “Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen.”

The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread.

[Divert To Mobile]

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Linux admins use aptitude

I just made that one up, but it could easily have been said before.

Steve

[Greg_M]

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Divert To Mobile, post: 176926 wrote:

Linux admins use aptitude

I just made that one up, but it could easily have been said before.

Steve

Bonus points for originality.

[bradzo]

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estim8, post: 176927 wrote:

Bonus points for originality.

I think Steve is winning so far.

[Greg_M]

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Steve definitely has the lead.

Considering it’s wet, windy and cold in the Otway’s (yet again). I’ll continue with another, instead of getting out in the garden.

Still not original though …

There are 10 types of people in this world.

Those that know binary, and those that don’t.

[bradzo]

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estim8, post: 176935 wrote:

Steve definitely has the lead.

Considering it’s wet, windy and cold in the Otway’s (yet again). I’ll continue with another, instead of getting out in the garden.

Still not original though …

There are 10 types of people in this world.

Those that know binary, and those that don’t.

HAHA!
Love it.

[bradzo]

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The answer, to life, the universe, and everything, is………………

101010

PS Obviously, I have nothing better to do at this time.

[Greg_M]

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I’ve decided it’s ok to waste time on a Sunday. Plus I found another stash.

ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!

One more and I’m done for now.

A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, “Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?”

The man below says: “Yes. You’re in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field.”

“You must work in Information Technology,” says the balloonist.

“I do” replies the man. “How did you know?”

“Well,” says the balloonist, “everything you have told me is technically correct, but It’s of no use to anyone.”

The man below replies, “You must work in management.”

“I do,” replies the balloonist, “But how’d you know?”*

“Well”, says the man, “you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault.”

[PerfectNotes-Kathy]

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Paraphrased, as I can’t remember the exact wording…

Customer: My computer’s crashed and won’t turn on again.

Support: Have you checked that it’s plugged in at the power point?

Customer: I can’t see to check that.

Support: Sorry – so is the power point inaccessible?

Customer: No, it’s accessible. I just can’t see whether the plug is in, as all the lights have gone out.

Support: So, there’s been a total power failure?

Customer: Yes – but my computer’s crashed and won’t start again…

Support: We call that an ID10T error – wait until the power comes back on – then it will work.

Customer: Thanks – how long will that be?

Support: (Click)

[Divert To Mobile]

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I did not come up with this, wish I had though I love it

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
And your data is corrupted ’cause the index doesn’t hash,
Then your situation’s hopeless, and your system’s gonna crash!

Steve

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