Home – New Forums Other discussions Which proposal would you be more willing to read?

  • This topic is empty.
Viewing 7 posts - 1 through 7 (of 7 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #967610
    brookethechicken
    Member
    • Total posts: 1
    Up
    0
    ::

    Hi everyone,

    I’m new to forums, and I’m a new business owner. I wanted to ask existing business owners a question and it dawned on me that this might be a good way to do it.

    A tiny bit of background: My husband and I brought the business that we have been working in for the last 4 years in January this year. We are in a client based industry and are wanting to increase that base. I’m in the midst of putting a proposal together that I want to give to the local business’s that are around us. The proposal is, I believe, very easy for these businesses, I’m not asking them to do anything, other than to agree to it. It will basically be that when a consumer spends X dollars in their business, they receive a complimentary voucher to ours.

    The thing is, my writing style is a bit free flowing. That is, I guess I write with a personal edge, not in an unprofessional way, but as though I’m having a conversation with the person. Dont get me wrong, I can write, and used to do that for a living, but one of the things I’ve found people like about my writing is that personal angle as opposed to the all business structure. Though I’ve never used it in this context, to get someones attention and then ask them for help.

    So my question is, do you think it makes a difference, if you received it, would it make a difference to your decision or your view of the proposal or if you even read it in the first place? Would you be any more likely to pay attention to one over the other?

    Thanks so much for taking the time, I really appreciate it and at this point of owning my first ever business, can really use it.

    #1027536
    Burgo
    Participant
    • Total posts: 2,104
    Up
    0
    ::

    Welcome to the forum. Your proposition sounds interesting.
    Other may disagree with my opinion, but I like the ‘personal’ style of writing.
    Writing a voucher , brochure or business letter in the ‘personal’ style make the recipient feel that you are writing to them and them alone. I would be surprised that it may be the most effective way to get your message across.
    We will see what the others feel about this subject

    Good luck

    #1027537
    Trish FCA
    Member
    • Total posts: 235
    Up
    0
    ::

    Hi Brook,

    Welcome aboard. Like Burgo, I too prefer the personal style of writing. I feel it’s directed more at me. And personal speak is always more refreshing than business speak.

    Look forward to seeing some examples and happy writing.

    Cheers,

    #1027538
    cookiejoe
    Member
    • Total posts: 19
    Up
    0
    ::

    Good day guys,

    I think a personal style is good, but not very when you are doing your first approach. I wonder if there is a possiblity that some may think its not professional and may lose the trust? Is it right that many companies or people in australia focus very much on professionalism? What about a professional writing and leave the rest when you get to meet them?

    #1027539
    PerfectNotes-Kathy
    Member
    • Total posts: 500
    Up
    0
    ::

    I tend to agree with cookiejoe. As a first approach, given that you want a business relationship with these other businesses and you are not hand delivering the proposals (I assume!), I think a professional approach would be better. However, there is nothing to stop you from including a sample voucher (with lots of ‘Sample Only’ all over it) in with the proposal, and of course the voucher can be as personally focused as you like, as it is intended to go to a customer – this way, you show both styles.

    Alternatively, if you are going to hand deliver them and speak to the business owners, then a proposal that reads the same way you spoke to them would be fine.

    Kathy

    #1027540
    lutrov
    Participant
    • Total posts: 134
    Up
    0
    ::

    Personally, I’ve always preferred the “casual” or personal approach. I find the corporate business style of writing too generic and largely ineffective because it usually reads like it wasn’t meant for human consumption.

    I think most small business operators would prefer the “write it like you’d say it” style because it’s something they can actually related to, as opposed to the “weasel words” you see in so many company slogans, brochures, and certainly, websites.

    I guess it depends on who the target audience is; if your readers are “old style” corporate execs, then it may not necessarily work. But I believe that most small business owners would actually appreciate transparent, honest and human communications.

    #1027541
    reactive
    Member
    • Total posts: 7
    Up
    0
    ::

    personally i’m more interested in proposals that are terse and correct. if the content is long winded and void of fundamentals that show wisdom and knowledge forget it. example, my gf is an excellent writer, does that make her business smart – not by a long shot.

Viewing 7 posts - 1 through 7 (of 7 total)
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.