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Wellbeing / Business psychology

Holding grudges: Time to give up the grudge

Are you holding grudges? With resolutions in place and a strong sense of optimism, now is the ideal time to make a conscious decision to give up a grudge.

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Grudges come in all shapes and sizes. Incidences behind them can range from the relatively petty to the criminal. Some, stemming from childhood, show remarkable staying power. This goes to show some of us can be surprisingly fond of our grudges.

  • Your grudge may be against a situation, another person or yourself.
  • You may be disappointed by a client’s lack of recognition.
  • You may be unable to forgive a friend who’s let you down.
  • You may feel inordinate anger against someone in power.

As entitled as you feel to hold on tight to your bone of contention, ask yourself, is holding grudges really worth it?

Every situation we choose to confront will give us an opportunity to learn something. If you can winkle out the lesson from your own personal grudge, you’re well on your way to freeing yourself from its stranglehold.

"If you can winkle out the lesson from your own personal grudge, you’re well on your way to freeing yourself from its stranglehold."

Because let’s be clear, we pay a price for holding grudges and refusing to let them go. Keeping grudges alive require little bundles of energy that could be channelled towards something way more productive. Like sticking to your resolutions, for example.

Want more articles like this? Check out the business psychology section.

Rather than dipping into, or even wallowing in a pool of resentment, build a bridge and get over it. Explain to your friend why you’ve been giving them the cold shoulder and that you’re ready to move on. Tell yourself that your client’s lack of recognition reflects on them not you. Recognise that anger against those you disagree with is fuel for their power.

What grudge are you going to put to bed? Post a comment and let us know.

 

Sam Leader

is a former director of Flying Solo and the co-author of Flying Solo - How to go it alone in business.

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