Work/life balance is bullsh*t. Try this instead
Soloist Angela Henderson doesn’t pull any punches when it comes to talking about the realities of running a business and a family.
In a recent Instagram post she spoke her mind about our collective (and I agree with her – frankly crazy – notion of work/life balance) and the fabulously refreshing approach she’s taken instead. But more on that shortly.
Angela told Flying Solo the post was a response to an “emptiness” she had started to feel.
“I was always feeling empty – feeling like everything I was doing was leaving me with guilt because it was never “balances” and I knew I needed to make a change in how I viewed things. And over the last 18 months what I realised was balance is bullshit and that by focusing on being present allowed me to embrace the moment. Create the memories. But ultimately realising that balance will never happen and I’m ok with that,” she said.
In accepting the lack of balance in her work/family life, Angela discovered something else – a new perspective.
It’s called being ‘present’.
As she posted to Instagram:
“So… I started to cut myself some slack. Instead of balance, I started to focus on being present in the moment. Present when I’m with the kids. Present when I’m with my partner. Present when I’m with friends. Present with business. Present when I’m speaking/at an event. Present when I’m with myself. Because when I started focusing on being present there was no need for balance.”
Of course, as Angela goes onto say, some days are easier than others, but now she sees them as a “work in progress”.
The results however have been powerful, as Angela told Flying Solo, she already feels much calmer.
“I notice the laughter of Finlee and Chloe – my kids. I take in their words. Process them. Reflect on them. I have also noticed that I’m more grateful. With having 4 deaths in my life in the last 18 months, by practicing being present verus balance, helped me to remember that life is short and I would much rather be present with those in my life.”
And for those of us reading these inspiring words (while madly multitasking) Angela has three simple suggestions to help us get started:
1.Rome wasn’t built in a day so being present isn’t going to happen over night so be gentle on yourself.
2. When you start searching for “balance” simply ask yourself the question “how am I showing up and being present with my business, my friends and my family.” The more you ask yourself this, the more you’ll start to shift where you’re at to where you want to go
3. At the end of the day when you’re laying in bed ask go through your day and reflect on where you were present. You’d be surprised how this simply exercise helps you to be tuned into your life collectively.