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Starting / Building confidence

Four steps to regaining self-belief

Ever excitedly shared your dreams and goals with friends, colleagues or loved ones, only to find your self-confidence rocked when they don’t respond with enthusiasm?

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Suddenly the decisions and instincts you were so sure were right for you and just knew were the right way forward don’t look so certain after all.

It’s your dream and your goal; don’t let anyone else take the wind out of your sails!

When clients come to me in self-doubt after allowing the dubious responses of others to take hold of them, I use a simple four-step process to help them lose that wobbly feeling and get back to positivity and regain self-belief. Do try this at home!

1. Sit in the ‘it’

Whether ‘it’ is self-doubt, annoyance, frustration, anger or something altogether different, allow yourself to ‘sit in it’ for a period of time. Now, that period of time can’t be all day. It can’t even be half a day. At the most, allow yourself to wallow in ‘it’ for 15 minutes.

That’s enough time for you to process what’s important and what’s not important from the conversation you’ve had. It also gives you enough time to speak with an impartial third party who can help you work through your feelings, and ask you the questions that can help you move forward and regain self-belief.

2. Make a decision

It’s important to decide whether or not the feedback you’ve received is valid. If you feel it is, then that’s it – time to move on.

"If your gut instinct is that your dream is still worth believing in and striving for, then make a decision to move towards it."

If your gut instinct is that your dream is still worth believing in and striving for, then make a decision to move towards it. Be clear on what that decision looks like, and then put together the concrete steps that will help you achieve your goal.

3. Stay focused

Focus on your outcome, and don’t get caught up in the day-to-day activities you need to take to reach it.

Maintaining this focus can sometimes feel hard and overwhelming when you’ve got a lot on your plate, but trust that you’re on the right path.

Give yourself the space to see what you need to do next.

4. Be persistent!

Being persistent doesn’t necessarily mean you need to push. It means that you need to pull what you need and want towards you by being clear on the decisions you make.

If you believe your goal is worth achieving than stay true to it, and follow through with whatever actions you need to take to make it happen.

How do you respond when someone gives you feedback that makes your resolve feel wobbly? Please share your experiences of regaining self-belief below.

Deb Pilgrim

works specifically with woman entrepreneurs who want to take their business from ordinary to extraordinary. She does this by taking them through a step-by-step process that teaches them how to consistently grow their business.

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