Conventional wisdom states single mindedness, focus and determination will help you with achieving your goals and fixing problems. But what if trying too hard proves counterproductive?
I’ve seen numerous examples of people ‘giving up’ on achieving their goals, only to have them realised.
For example, no fewer than three couples I know longed to become parents, tried every trick in the book, yet failed to conceive. In each case, the words “We’ve accepted we may never have kids” were followed by a successful pregnancy.
One of my best friends is an insomniac who has fought the condition for years. “I’ve accepted it as a part of my life now,” she said, and then got on top of it.
The same girl said “I think I’m going to be single forever!” and was married within a year.
Another, less emotive example: I chased a non paying customer without success and just as I came to terms with not getting the money, the cheque arrived in the post.
These may be exceptions to the rule. Indeed, I do believe that generally, the harder you try, the luckier you get.
But not always. There are times when the energy paradox comes into effect, whereby the harder you pursue achieving your goals, the further from reach it becomes.
Want more articles like this? Check out the business psychology section.
Naturally, letting go of a heartfelt desire is easier said than done. We all know what it’s like to be unable to see the wood for the trees.
But perhaps if we can let go of a fervent need to fix something, enough light is created around the problem to solve it. Conversely the answers, whether they are out there or within us, will struggle to present themselves if they’re crushed by the weight of our hopes.
Those who’ve journeyed towards acceptance have come to realise we have no way of controlling outcomes, but we can control our attitudes towards our situation.
This philosophy is at the heart of the attraction principle. In a professional context, this encourages you to behave in a way that draws ideal clients towards you, rather than hounding them for recognition.
Want something badly? Give it up.
Tell us what you think.