I learnt this lesson the hard way – with a diagnosis of cancer a few years back.
Fighting seems like a reasonable response to the terrifying proclamation “You have cancer.”
When my doctor rang me with the test results, I don’t remember a single word she said after that first three-word message. I was filled with terror and went straight into fight-or-flight mode. And since fleeing wasn’t going to make things any better, fighting won.
Except that I was exhausted. The cancer was aggressive, my immune system was a pathetic wreck, and fighting seemed overwhelming.
Fighting is not the best way to heal. Healing occurs in a restful, calm state. By its very nature, fighting isn’t peaceful.
Fighting is resisting. And what we resist, persists.
Like that annoying zit you keep picking at, and it keeps coming back. Like the neighbour’s barking dog that drove me batty, until I decided to bless it instead of curse it. Like the cranky teenager that digs his heels deeper the more you comment on his unsociable behaviour.
So if you’ve been given a cancer diagnosis, your relationship is in a shambles or your business appears set to fail, what are you supposed to do if you don’t fight? Do you just give up and give in?
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Nope, not at all.
Not fighting doesn’t mean surrendering to disease, divorce or closure of your business. It means surrendering to healing, positivity and faith. It means surrendering to a new focus on peace and flow.
When you’re calm, positive, and peaceful all the elements of your life are given the best chance at returning to their natural state of vitality.
Your true ticket to wellbeing at work, at home or in your body begins with a shift away from what you don’t want, and renewed focus on what you do want.
After trying to find the energy to fight cancer for a little while, I stopped, and turned inward instead. I focused on peace and tranquillity. I cut out all stressors in my life, put my business on hold, and focused on being well. I took it one day at a time. I rented funny movies and read a lot of historical romantic dramas. I looked out the window at the sunshine in the yard. I ate croissants and cookies as well as vitamins and fresh fruit juices.
In short, I relaxed. I went for ease. I embraced the moment. I forgave myself for innumerable negative thoughts and past woes. I welcomed each day, instead of fearing the lack of them to come.
I asked my family and friends to focus on seeing me healthy and well, rather than struggling. I told them not to pray for me, but to see me healthy and whole – to focus on the wellness, not the sickness. This really helped – I felt pulled along by this strong positive vision.
Since then, I’ve learned that the same approach works in almost any situation. Don’t focus on your worst nightmare – embrace your most enticing vision instead, and feel it pulling you forwards.
Whatever is challenging you, I invite you to find ways to embrace it. Look for peace, flow and relaxation.
A life is made up moments. Make yours good ones.
What are you resisting? Is it time for letting go and for you to go with the flow?